You mean those aren't dolls? Whose bright idea was it to get her pregnant?

Cool, she looks like me!

Thank you Britney! I really needed the cash.

"Britney's been getting in better and better shape since she split with Kevin and wants her body immortalised in a portrait" claims a source.

Just no close-up commando shots please.

"She was not drunk," claimed Spears' manager. "She was just tired and falling asleep." Yes, that's exactly what happened to me last night.

Paris, who recently left Britney off of her Christmas party invite list, has been using this non-sequitur of an insult behind Britney's back. Yes Paris, we are all animals, and I am glad to see that you have finally come around to Darwin's point of view; though, the great evolutionary theorist might be hard pressed to explain what you evolved from.

I am so looking forward to Britney's new perfume!

While the Cheaters' team of investigators hasn't caught up with Britney yet, they can't be far behind considering the joy that she has been giving K-Fed.